The Bleacher Report did a great power ranking of all 30 NBA team mascots. What did they have to say? Well, some they thought were annoying, some weird, and some just stupid; but all-in-all, they felt mascots are just plain awesome. If you want to see all 30 NBA Mascots and how they ranked them, watch their video.
That being said, here are some highlights:
Here’s what they had to say about Jazz Bear:
The guy simply looks terrifying. Why in the world is he riding a motorcycle and doing flips? That’s pretty awesome stuff and essential to what one wants in their mascot, but I’m not sure anyone knows what a Jazz actually looks like. I guess Utah comes close, but the bear doesn’t really resemble a Salk Lake City animal.
Here’s what we have to say:
That’s harsh. We think riding a motorcycle and doing flips is awesome stuff. How would mascot look like Jazz? Dressed up as a Jazz singer? A flapper? Maybe a trombone? And what’s a Salt Lake City animal like anyway?
Here’s what they had to say about Burnie:
Oh, you didn’t know? He’s also a frog-like thing that appears to honk for Dwyane Wade. I get that you don’t have to put much thought into something that only distracts from the attraction at hand, but is there no accountability?! (sarcasm). For a team that is on the verge of its third straight finals appearance, no more honking and forcing women to dance, please.
Here’s what we have to say:
They’re just a bunch of meanies. We like Burnie. Maybe it’s because he reminds us so much of Ernie? What do you think?
Here’s what they had to say about Clutch:
That’s a really fat—even by mascot standards—bear on a motorcycle. A bear also has nothing to do with a Rocket. I told you there were an unconscious amount of bears and big animals in the NBA.
Another mascot that makes no sense in relation to the team name. Any mascot can be funny and do fun-loving things, but it’s the makeup of the costume that leaves Clutch in the lower tier of “mascot-ness.”
Here’s what we have to say:
We agree Clutch has a lot to be desired. He looks like a red Care Bare. And not for nothing, but do Care Bars and NBA really partner well? Maybe clutch just needs a little pink heart at the tip of his nose.
Here’s what they had to say about Boomer:
I have no words. From the color schemes to the “cat-ness” of the thing, there’s just no reason for this to happen. I could understand if they were called the Indiana Kittens or Indiana Catwomen, but the whiskers? When I think Pacers, I think of grittiness, Ron Artest, Reggie Miller, I don’t know—anyone except a kitten.
Here’s what we have to say:
We agree and disagree. We disagree that he has “no words.” We think he has plenty of words. We disagree about Pacers = grittiness. Why? When we think of Pacers we think of the 1978 AMC Pacer named as the worst car ever made. And we agree that the whiskers are a little weird.
Those were our thoughts. What are yours? Do you have a favorite NBA mascot? A least favorite? Share your opinions.